


God, Yang's Scroll, and Tea

by bananabee



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 09:52:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananabee/pseuds/bananabee
Summary: It was finals day at Beacon and then Yang's scroll rang.





	God, Yang's Scroll, and Tea

**Author's Note:**

> all my stories have been angst so i figured i should write something where the bees aren't crying.  
> this fic is based on the fic I wrote and posted on tumblr for the anr fandom three years ago. this is my absolute favorite fic and i wanted to just make a bees version, of course i changed up a few things. i hope ya'll enjoy.

Last two words.

_Later, Dad._

Yang was about to hit send then –

“Miss Xiao Long.”

Yang groaned and looked up. She saw substitute teacher, Professor Goodwitch, glaring at her through her glasses.

Yang stared at her nervously. “Uh, s-sorry, Professor Goodwitch. I was just tex – ”

“Give me your scroll.”

 _Damn,_ Yang thought. Professor Goodwitch looked at her expectantly; Yang didn’t have a bad reputation amongst the faculty of Beacon. She got along with the teachers. She got along with everyone. Okay, well maybe she wasn’t on Professor Goodwitch’s good side all the time but Yang was never considered a bad student. She wanted to be someone Ruby can look up to. However, the universe always allowed an exception. And their stern professor was the perfect example of an exception to Yang-Xiao Long-Gets-Along-With-Everyone-Reputation.

Yang silently cursed the universe and wondered why of all the days in the school calendar, Professor Port chose the day of their finals to call in sick.

With the test papers still in hand, Professor Goodwitch stared at Yang. She appeared disinterested but the prodding look she gave Yang was unwavering.

_Damn it._

The rest of the class started murmuring; they wanted to be done with the exam as soon as possible but Yang _not_ giving up her scroll only stalled their already inevitable fate.

A few chairs away, Sun nudged Blake. “Blaaake...”

Blake glanced at him and signaled her to keep quiet with one of her signature disinterested yet piercing stares.  

“But Yang’s being –”

“Shut it, Sun.”

Sun sighed and grinned. “Professor Goodwitch sure is on a roll. Don’t you think so, Blake?”

Blake rolled her eyes at Sun and stole a glance at Yang, who looked like she was having a staring contest with the teacher.

_Christ. She’s gotten into trouble._

_I guess I should save the day,_ Blake mused.

She was about to speak up but Professor Goodwitch beat her to it.

“Miss Xiao Long, are you going to give it to me or do I have to come over there and pry it off your fingers?”

The class’ murmuring became full-pledged. She could hear Nora and Pyrrha’s muffled voices several chairs away. Weiss caught Yang’s eye. Yang could tell she was sending her a telepathic message.

_Yang Xiao Long, give the scroll or I will hit you with a binder._

Yang cringed. She did not want to get hit by Weiss’ huge ass binders so she forced herself to get up from her seat and surrender her scroll. She glanced at everyone as she walked up to the teacher’s lectern.

 _Look at them; they’re so freaking ready to take the test and ace it,_ Yang thought displeasingly.

Yang handed her scroll to the pissed yet smug looking teacher.

Blake rolled her eyes.

Professor Goodwitch smiled.

Yang felt a chill. Blake felt a chill. Everyone in the class started murmuring again. Professor Goodwitch pressed a few buttons, her nails grazing the keypad and placed the scroll on the ledge of the blackboard, chalk dust and all. Yang just stared at the confiscated item as she tried not to cringe. The teacher glared at her. The glare made Yang drag herself back to her seat.

“Let this be a lesson to you, brats,  _never_ to  _cheat._ ”

 _But I wasn’t cheating, damn it,_ Yang thought angrily. She studied, and she was good in classes. Yang never cheated. And never will. 

But she had no choice but to shut up.

***

As soon as the scroll debacle was over, Professor Goodwitch distributed the papers immediately. Pens and pencils being raked across the papers were heard across the room as everyone in the class skimmed the test papers in haste. The geniuses in the class, like Pyrrha, Weiss, and Blake, started answering the test as if they were just answering stupid, useless, time-consuming quizzes on Facebook.

Silence enveloped the room for a record-breaking minute.

Suddenly, a sound of a muffled doorbell was heard from the front of the room, somewhere near the blackboard ledge. Yang began cursing the sheep, pigs, and pigeons alike. Blake gave her a sideway glance. She saw Yang’s brows furrowing.

Blake sighed.

She did warn her on their study night the day before to concentrate but Yang kept arguing that she was already done studying for the exam. Knowing her girlfriend, Blake assumed it was true. Yang’s smarter and a lot more dedicated than people make her out to be.

The muffled doorbell sound rang again. Blake looked back at Yang again. Yang was now looking at her confiscated scroll in front of them. Blake looked at her disbelievingly and looked away, leaving Yang twirling her pen absentmindedly. Blake wondered why Yang was so disoriented and nervous.

Was the message just then so important for her that she could concentrate? Was it from her dad? An emergency perhaps? The network service provider offering endless –

“ _Yaaaaaaaang –_ ”

 ** _FUCK,_** capitalized, bolded, underlined, size 72, Sun heard Blake say. Lie Ren, who was seated at the back of the room even heard the curse. Ren looked up from his test paper and glanced at Blake and then to Yang, who was next to him, and lastly at Professor Goodwitch. The substitute teacher seemed to be listening intently. The scroll’s playback continued to ring – obviously, this was no longer a text message but a scroll call. It must be  _really_ urgent. So urgent that the caller would sacrifice his or her life.

“ _Yang, don’t be rude. Come here right now. I want youuuu – ”_

By this time, the class had already forgotten the possibility of flunking the most dreaded exam by the strictest substitute teacher on the most dreaded subject. The students looked back and forth at, the owner of the ringing scroll and the owner of the voice ringing on the scroll, Yang and Blake.

FUCK, GOODWITCH FUCK WHY DID YOU PUT IT ON LOUD MODE FUCK, Yang cursed in her head. She stared at her test paper to avoid the glances of her classmates and her girlfriend. Yang wondered if Professor Goodwitch was the devil’s spawn. Blake on the other hand, started making a list on the margins of her paper.

She was not usually this agitated and murderous but she started filling out her Assassination List and preferred method of assassination beside the names.

**Blake’s Assassination List:**

  1. **Yang Xiao Long by choking performed by someone who has mastered the skill of choking people to death, maybe me.**
  2. **Professor Goodwitch, by gradual slitting of neck using Jaune’s sword.**
  3. **Dumb Caller by immersion in 1000 degree Celsius temperature, freshly boiled water from the Dead Sea.**
  4. **Yang Xiao Long by induced coup d’état by all the governing bodies of Remnant.**
  5. **Yang Xiao Long by world war times infinity.**



Wow, she could be creative, reading those books sure did pay off.

 _“ – Yang, I want to see you naked –_ ”

Ruby, who struggled to ignore Yang’s ringtone that featured Blake’s seductive slurring followed by Yang’s drunken laughter, finally looked at her sister, face tremendously horrified and scandalized. Blake remained motionless in her seat, head down on paper. Yang started to pray and decided that if she lived through this day, she’d become a monk.

“ _– I want to touch you –_ ”

Nora slowly dropped her pen on her desk and popped her head on her elbows; the dreamy look on her angelic face was evident. Oohh, fun, me likey, she thought.

“ _– I want to feel you, Yaaaaang –_ ”

Blake gripped her pen tightly as she started scribbling ALCOHOL MUST BE BANNED. SCROLLS MUST BE BANNED. YANG XIAO LONG MUST DIE.

Yang was starting to imagine God himself. She imagined him sitting cross legged, drinking earl grey tea calmly as he watched Yang suffer from below.

“ _– Let me play with you –_ ”

“Oh my.” Pyrrha mused, placing a hand on her mouth in shock. 

Ren closed her eyes and leaned back on his seat. A hint of amusement was seen on his face for a full minute.

Jaune’s was as red as Pyrrha’s hair.

Weiss bit back a smirk of her own and looked at Blake who looked like she was ready to murder someone right off the bat.

“ _– God, you’re so sexy, Yang Xiao Long, fuuuuuuuuuuuuck –_ ”

 The classroom was dead silent and the people from the class then and there unanimously decided that this moment mattered more than answering the bloody exam.

“ ** _Message saved to voicemail._** ”

No single soul in the class dared to speak. All ears were glued at the vibrating, loud, blinking gadget on the blackboard ledge. The message started its playback. 

“ _Yang?”_

HOLY FUCK, IT’S TAI, both Yang and Blake yelled inside their heads.

“ _Yang, honey, I was worried for some reason so I decided to call you. You told me you’d be at an overnight trip with Blake tonight, right? Oh well, you’d better crash here first to change so your clothes would be washed and so you can pick up your overnight bag for you trip – if I may quote ‘your trip to Nirvana’. Seriously, Yang._ ”

Half of the class looked at Blake. Half of them looked at Yang. Professor Goodwitch looked pissed but slightly amused at the interesting turn of events.

 “ _Oh, and please don’t exhaust yourself too much. I remember you being too sore to stand when you got home from the last trip you two had._ ”

Ruby reached over the space between the seats to cover Penny’s ears.

“Penny, you’re too innocent,”

“Oh, Ruby, it’s fi –”

“Penny, no.”

Sun could not take it anymore so he let out a loud parade of laughter. So did Neptune. The pen Blake was holding broke into two.

And Yang, the cause of all this, started writing her last will and testament out of haste.

 

“ _I hope you and Blake will have a good time tonight, little dragon!_ ”

 

There was another beep, signaling the end of the message and then the gadget fell silent.

In that moment, Yang swore she felt her soul finally leave her body.


End file.
